30

30

This entry is going to be a little less numerically focused than my last.  It really just stems from another one-off conversation I had with Anissa.  We were on our way home from an errand (okay, you got me, we were headed home from picking up a pizza at Donatos) and reflecting on what a manic Sunday it had been.  We got up and at it at a normal hour, 9am, and it was just go, go, go the whole day.  So we’re in the car and I just start talking out loud.  I know Anissa loves me because instead of letting me converse alone, which can be dangerous, she usually reacts to the haphazard thoughts spewing from my mouth.  I asked Anissa if she thought we’d be any happier if we had a longer day, say 28 hours.  After some back and forth, we both kind of agreed it probably wouldn’t make us happier.  We’d sleep a little more, but also work more.  We would be expected to be even more productive and we’d still be stressed out.  Then Anissa said, “I wonder what would happen if we just had an extra 30 minutes; that would be a cool little experiment.”  And it got me thinking about an entry I wrote a few months back where I contemplate what I’d do with an extra 8 hours in a week.  It made me think, what would I do with an extra 30 minutes each night?  Or what should I let myself do for 30 minutes each night?  Well tonight, the answer is easy.  I’m blogging for 30 minutes.  I love doing it.  It helps clear my mind.  It’s relaxing. 

One other thing I have only (relatively) recently come to enjoy doing is reading.  Ironically, I started to really get into reading about a year before I went back to school for my MBA and now, I read so much for school that I actually cannot fathom the thought of reading anything more.  However, once I am done with school (hopefully only another 15 months!) I am really looking forward to getting back into it.  I’ve got a long list of books lined up that I’ve been wanting to start.  I am actually taking school off this summer for the wedding, so I’m hoping to squeeze in some quality time with the Kindle.

Now let me side-step this topic to provide a little more context.  The past month or so has been a rough one for me.  Anissa and I were both very sick for most of January.  No joke we were pretty much under house arrest for several days each and there were more than a few days of work that were hard just to get through because of how crappy we felt.  Couple that with a new year, wedding planning, a car accident, some personnel changes at work, and a large course-load of evening classes and suddenly I have absolutely no time.  This all really hit me hard this past weekend.  Anissa and I had pre-Cana all day Saturday this weekend and then did chores/errands/school Saturday night.  I knew that I had to spend at least a solid 10-12 hours on schoolwork on Sunday.  Knowing what Saturday and Sunday would hold, this left Friday night for Anissa and I to do dinner and watch a movie, which was a fantastic night.  But what did I not do this weekend?  I didn’t work out once and it’s been well over a week now since I’ve even done an at-home workout.  I didn’t go to church.  And I had no time for most of our house stuff (simple cleaning, let alone getting to any projects or things that need fixed).  I was sitting on the couch last night at 10pm wondering what the hell happened to the weekend.  It’s a horrible feeling going into the work week knowing you are so far behind in absolutely every aspect of your life: work is piling up, school is bearing down, you feel unhealthy, and you can’t live up to any personal commitments.  This might be one of the lowest points I’ve had since I started back to school. 

So let me bring my pity party back to the main topic.  I am committing to myself at least 30 minutes each morning or evening to do something for myself.  To read.  To write.  To pray.  To think freely.  To stare aimlessly at the TV.  To just lay on my back with my eyes shut and reflect.  One of the things I learned from the priest who will say our wedding mass in July, Father Charlie, was that Anissa and I need to put our relationship first, even before any children we might have.  This might sound selfish at first thought.  But how can we take care of our children if we haven’t taken care of ourselves?  Upon further thought it makes a lot of sense.  So my 30 minutes is an attempt to put myself first amidst the chaos of my current life.  An attempt to bring some sanity to a manic day.  A chance to relax and breathe.  I deserve it.  And so do you.